Barack Obama, when campaigning in 2008, said “I think when you spread the wealth around, it’s good for everybody”, and I thought the citizenry would be turned off by such patently unAmerican, socialist-tinged language, but he went on to be elected president.
Nancy Pelosi said of a 2700 page bill taking over a sixth of the economy, “We have to pass the bill so you can find out what’s in it”, forfeiting any pretense of seriousness or careful deliberation. And after that I thought the whole bill would go up in smoke, but Obamacare still passed.
Harry Reid, in response to a Republican budget that attempted to impose some restraint on an out-of-control national deficit, said of one particular spending cut, “Had [the Cowboy Poetry Festival] not been around, tens of thousands of people who come there every year would not exist”, and I thought the big spending liberal parody mixed with farcical phrasing would make Reid a laughingstock, but he has remained Senate Majority Leader.
Barack Obama, campaigning in 2012, mocked entrepreneurs’ self-regard, and of the businesses they poured their blood, sweat, and tears into, he said “you didn’t build that!” And I thought the American people, already discouraged by the poor economy he’d presided over, would finally realize the disdain the president has for self-reliance and earned success, but Obama won reelection. Read more…
• The Chicago Teachers Union, whose median salary of $71K dwarfs the $27K median per capita income of other Chicago residents, went on strike after rejecting a pay increase of 16% in a city of 9% unemployment. That’d be like Alfonso Soriano of the Cubs, wildly overpaid and underachieving on a losing team, holding out for a new contract. Or already filthy rich Wall Street CEOs expecting million dollar severance packages after running their companies into the ground, or… okay, now I see where they got the idea from.
• Apart from salary, one of the main drivers of the strike was union outrage over plans to use standardized tests to evaluate teacher performance. “Being judged based on the performance of our students is inherently unfair. It’d be like judging Barack Obama on the poor economic performance of American citizens who just don’t seem to get the story he’s trying to tell.” said union head Karen Lewis, in an illogical yet bizarrely consistent comparison.
• Paul Ryan made an opportune quip about the situation, stating, “We stand with Mayor Rahm Emanuel!” Not understanding the importance of timing, circumstance, or logic in making a joke, Joe Biden sought to counter his VP opponent by stating, “And I sit with Clint Eastwood, cause he has an empty chair!”
• Mitt Romney quickly expressed outrage at the tragic embassy attacks in Egypt and Libya, where four Americans were killed, specifically criticizing a Cairo embassy statement that preceded the attacks. The press colluded to ask him loaded questions that implied he was inappropriately politicizing the situation. Romney steadfastly stood by his previous statements, similar to how former President Bush stubbornly stood by his disastrous decision to remain in Iraq, and… OH NO I’VE TURNED INTO ONE OF THEM! Read more…
Even celebrities who are normally hilarious are not immune to the siren call of unoriginal musings on the GOP’s latent evil:
The above is a tweet by the usually very funny Seth Rogen. (The next day he tweeted, “Your pinky is the smallest finger but is capable of holding the biggest secrets.” Now that’s funny.)
The KKK line soon made the rounds on Facebook, gaining surely smirking “likes”. The only problem is that “Keep America American” is not Romney’s slogan. According to snopes.com (the only honest fact-checker left), Romney never even used those words. A NY Times blog (which was forced to issue a correction) misquoted him regarding a point about not following Europe into a fiscal apocalypse.
These sorts of phony trends don’t just emerge from celebrities. Obama has criticized Republicans as the party better fit for the last century, yet his campaign and their acolytes in the media consistently reopen 50-year-old wounds over racism and women’s rights. Read more…