The follow-up to Part 1 of our series on what comedian Mitch Hedberg’s thoughts would be on the current political scene:
1. “I wrote a script and gave it to a guy that reads scripts. And he read it and said he really likes it, but he thinks I need to rewrite it. I said, ‘<Forget> that, I’ll just make a copy.’ “
Instead of carefully crafting an intelligent, financially responsible health care reform bill, Obama and the Democrats quickly crammed together 2,700 pages of raw government power, ignoring questions about efficiency, incentives, and constitutionality. The electorate asked for a rewrite and the Dems yelled back, “ that, we’ll just make a copy.”
2. “You know they call corn-on-the-cob ‘corn-on-the-cob,’ right? But that’s how it comes out of the ground, man. They should call that ‘corn’, and they should call every other version ‘corn-off-the-cob.’ It’s not like if you cut off my arm you would call my arm ‘Mitch’, but then reattach it and call it ‘Mitch-all-together.’ “
When you no longer allow insurance companies to factor in risk when pricing out their policies, and make them cover routine health care, then what they’re providing ceases to be insurance. They should now just call them ‘medical expense’ companies.
3. “My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana, I said ‘No, but I want a regular banana later, so… yeah’.”